Male Sexual Abuse Is Real
Submitted 7 July 2018
Anonymous Survivor Story:
'Male Sexual Abuse Is Real'
Why Do You Want To Tell Your Story?
To raise awareness male sexual abuse is real
To raise awareness male sexual abuse is real
Tell Us Your Story
I was sexually abused as an adult by my female cousin while I was sleeping in my bed. I was 23 she was in her thirties.
As a close Maori whanau, my cousin was a respected person of our whanau and community. I was her protege and she took me under her professional wings for many years. She became my employer, confidant, and someone I trusted , both as employer and a whanau member. We worked on Marae and iwi projects together.
On a number of occasions she sexually abused me by getting in my bed during the night and touching my penis.
I was paralyzed with fear and shame. I cried as she did it and could not wait for it to be over . Ten years later I told my immediate family. Our wider whanau we're not interested in hearing what happened. I was shunted, excluded, and told to keep quiet in fear to embarrass the whanau.
Many took the abusers side. She was the whanau wallet to many and held lots of control and power over many whanau members. It was difficult time.
It's been five years since I disclosed the abuse. I suffer from post traumatic stress and can get triggered. It's difficult, because I fear I may see my abuser at whanau functions, tangi or whanau or Marae activities. It's very stressful.
I did make a complaint to police. However, the case was closed due to a lack of evidence. My abusers response was we were in a sexual relationship and that I consented. I did not agree with the police decision And realized that police found it difficult to believe that an adult female could sexually abuse an adult male. Further, had the gender roles been different, I knew my abuser would be held to account. My case and it's evidence were exactly the same as male assault female, except this time the gender roles were different.
What I learnt was any abuse was about power and control and not gender. I wanted to tell my story to raise awareness that female can abuse male too.
Hope this shared light on this topic. God bless.
I was sexually abused as an adult by my female cousin while I was sleeping in my bed. I was 23 she was in her thirties.
As a close Maori whanau, my cousin was a respected person of our whanau and community. I was her protege and she took me under her professional wings for many years. She became my employer, confidant, and someone I trusted , both as employer and a whanau member. We worked on Marae and iwi projects together.
On a number of occasions she sexually abused me by getting in my bed during the night and touching my penis.
I was paralyzed with fear and shame. I cried as she did it and could not wait for it to be over . Ten years later I told my immediate family. Our wider whanau we're not interested in hearing what happened. I was shunted, excluded, and told to keep quiet in fear to embarrass the whanau.
Many took the abusers side. She was the whanau wallet to many and held lots of control and power over many whanau members. It was difficult time.
It's been five years since I disclosed the abuse. I suffer from post traumatic stress and can get triggered. It's difficult, because I fear I may see my abuser at whanau functions, tangi or whanau or Marae activities. It's very stressful.
I did make a complaint to police. However, the case was closed due to a lack of evidence. My abusers response was we were in a sexual relationship and that I consented. I did not agree with the police decision And realized that police found it difficult to believe that an adult female could sexually abuse an adult male. Further, had the gender roles been different, I knew my abuser would be held to account. My case and it's evidence were exactly the same as male assault female, except this time the gender roles were different.
What I learnt was any abuse was about power and control and not gender. I wanted to tell my story to raise awareness that female can abuse male too.
Hope this shared light on this topic. God bless.
- Anonymous
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